Mostly Rechtsrheinisch

When I studied computer science at Fachhochschule Köln, we occasionally had lectures at KISD. Opposite its entrance was a bookshop, and in that shop stood one of the finest cartographic objects I have ever seen: a globe whose entire surface was covered with the street map of Cologne. It was too expensive for me as a student, so I did not buy it. I still regret this.

I now realise the globe had the geography right. Cologne Cathedral is both the prime meridian and the equator. From there, the planet divides into two hemispheres: linksrheinisch and rechtsrheinisch. The International Date Line is simply where the two sides meet again.

This clears up a lot. Berlin is rechtsrheinisch. Melbourne is also rechtsrheinisch. Paris is linksrheinisch. Amsterdam is linksrheinisch. San Francisco is linksrheinisch. With the Dom as the origin of the coordinate system, the rest follows.

I grew up in Wiehl, east of Cologne, so I have long described my origins as: “I come from East Germany, about 42 kilometres east of Cologne.” In Rhineland geography, that is perfectly accurate. Wiehl lies almost exactly on the same east-west axis as the Dom, which puts it on the Rhineland equator, just on the rechtsrheinisch side.

And the 42 is not even made up. My old school, the Dietrich-Bonhoeffer-Gymnasium, is at 50°56’57″N, 7°33’24″E. Using the Cathedral as the reference point, that puts it about 41.9 kilometres away as the crow flies — or, in sensible units, roughly 42 kilometres east of the centre of the world.

Which means that generations of DBG pupils have spent their school years almost exactly 42 kilometres from the zero point of existence. Apparently Wiehl has been running a small regional branch of Deep Thought for decades without making much of a fuss about it.

Douglas Adams had the right answer. He just got the question wrong.